The Instructions Weren't Clear
by Saycim
Summary: Kyle admits to one little detail, which leads to another, and the next thing you know the rest of the group is after him. They'll play any game it takes for one to win the main prize. Kyle's body.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** Language.

**Authors Note:** Short chapter, I know. I just needed a little something something to get this started.

**I don't own South Park or any characters used in this story.**

**-(^_^)- **

"Never have I ever…"

My eyes seemed to lift themselves over to Stan, who had his lips pursed as he searched for his next words. I was still holding up all 10 fingers, and most of my friends around were at the same state. Figures, when we get together to play this game, we'd just spit out whatever comes to mind to see who's done the craziest shit.

"Lost a poke war on Facebook," he finished.

The group shared a chuckle at the stupid statement, but at the last moment I caught Butters slowly take away a finger, followed by Cartman shouting, "Hah! Stupid Butters!"

I couldn't conceal a grin, and I nudged Butters with my elbow. He looked at me with a small smile across his face, and the game continued with ease.

**. . .**

Then it was my turn. I had eight fingers remaining after admitting to strutting into a store completely naked, and wearing clothing that was entirely edible. Boxers and everything. Not one of my fondest memories.

The group stared at me with fierce eyes, determined to win with the 5 fingers they were left holding up.

"I, uh…" my voice trailed off. I lost interest in this round a while ago.

"Just say anything," Kenny spoke up from beside me.

I rolled my eyes and set my hands flat on the table. "Never have I ever kissed someone." The words fell out of my mouth so bluntly, anyone that didn't know me wouldn't believe it.

"Are you kidding?" Craig leaned farther onto the table, taking interest.

"He has to be. Put a finger down, dude," Token replied to him.

I narrowed my eyes slightly and shook my head to show I was telling the truth.

"Not even another guy?"

Cartman is always trying to fuck with me, I swear. It's not like I'm just noticing this either. I exhale out a simple 'no' in response, and he laughed.

"Haha, Of course, Kyle! You can't even get a smooch if you swung for the same game."

My arm was already resting on the table, and I lifted it up to lay my head on my palm. "Shut up, fatass…" The insult was mumbled under all the annoyance I could feel building up inside me. I'm going to get teased for this, no doubt.

"S-so… If you never h-had your f-first k-kiss that means you n-never got laid either?"

And here we go.

Damn it, Butters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Language.

**Authors Note:** LONGER CHAPTER, WOO.

**I don't own South Park or any characters used in this story.**

**-(^_^)-**

With all the other guys staring at me, I was left to shield my face with the sleeves of my shirt. Unfortunately the fabric couldn't cut out sound, and I heard all their chatter and snickers. Cartman's laugh was obviously the loudest and most obnoxious. I could feel him pointing at me when a thump hit the floor, and I automatically assumed it was him falling off his chair in all the amusement.

"Oh god, Kyle!" he chuckled between deep, shaky breaths. I uncovered my eyes and shot them directly down to the ground. Sure enough, Cartman was laying there. He had his hands over his stomach and a grin far too wide across his face. "Dude, you have to be buzzing my balls right now."

I let out another sigh and masked my face once again with my sleeves. The teasing was something I expected, but the thought of "buzzing Eric's balls" was a picture I did not want to imagine.

"If you don't want your virginity, Kyle," a whisper crept around my ear. "You can always just give it to me."

Oh my god.

Kenny.

Did he seriously.

I flung my head up to glare him directly in the eye, but he took it lightly and greeted my actions with a smirk. As I was shaking my head at his attempt, someone else spoke up. I transferred my vision over to see that Clyde was now standing on his chair, looking downwards at me.

"You can get with this," he sang, pointing at himself. "Or you can get with that," Clyde finished by rotating his hand around so his index finger was now aimed at Kenny.

I felt my mouth fall agape and my expression turn into a "what the fuck man?!" look. Next to Clyde, Craig was leaning back on his chair, feet resting neatly crossed on top of the table. I was glad he wasn't part of the few that were taking joy out of this. Or at least that's what I hoped for until he starting speaking.

"If we're all going to argue over who's going to be Kyle's first, then why don't we just make it into a game?"

My eyes widened, and my first reaction was to jump out of my seat and defend myself from whatever this was leading to. "And who gave you consent to do that?" I practically yelled the question at him across the 3 foot table, but Craig kept his gaze settled on mine and folded his arms.

"Nobody. But it would be fun, yeah?"

"It's my body; you can't declare anything on it I don't agree to!"

I stood there for a minute or so, fingers tapping on the table waiting for any response. There were no verbal reactions, just stares. Around the table, everyone was looking up at me with either a straight face, or some cheesy grin. Then my eyes fell over Tweek, who was the only one with unclear agitation in his eyes instead of... _Lust._

I snapped at the thought. _Lust_.

It can't be.

I gradually stepped away from the table, keeping focus on every one of them in case they had ideas to try something. Each time my sight drifted over Tweek, I could see his fingertips grow whiter from gripping his coffee mug too tight. "H-Hey! Where are you going?!"

I pulled my jacket off the back of my chair and slipped it on. "Home."

"But if you leave now, you won't see how the game plays out. Come on… Stay?" to add emphasis to his plea, Kenny tugged on the arm of my coat, and I shook off his grasp.

"I'd rather not hear this…" I stated, walking to the door. "Whatever _this _is," with that, I swung it open and stepped outside.

And just before I could hear the door shut, a sentence shadowed behind me.

"_Alright guys, so here's the rules."_

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

The brisk air that blew across my face caused me to shiver, and sent a chill of cold down my spine. My hands fiddled their way into my pockets to look for warmth against the frigid temperature. As I stepped down the stairs leading away from Butters' garage, I noticed that the snow frosted precisely over the trees, and caked the grass with the same effect. The sidewalk and street were the only places uncovered from the sheets of white. I walked along the sidewalk for a few minutes, the street lights beaming down from above and casting a shadow that trailed far behind me. Arriving at my house in less than 10 minutes, I pulled out my hands from their warm territory and turned the knob to push the front door open.

"Kyle! There you are! I was just about to call you for the seventh time!" my mom embraced me with wide arms, snuggling them around the top half of my body all too tight.

I gasped for air. "Seventh?" after she released me I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and tapped the lock button. _Mom; missed call. _I scrolled down the screen, and it was indeed filled with unnoticed calls from her.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Mom…"

She gazed back at me with a small smile, and nodded her head slightly. "Just go wash up and get some sleep. "

I smiled back and obeyed, walking upstairs. I passed Ike on the way, and gave him a little high-five.

With my foot.

On his back.

Down the stairs.

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

I stepped back into my room wearing my pajamas- well, just pajama pants. Screw shirts- and a towel that draped around my head. I flicked the lights off, and walked across my room to hang the towel inside the closet. Before I sat back on my bed, I grabbed my phone off of the desk nearby. I plugged it in to its outlet to charge, and the phone lit up to show the battery percentage. 46%. The battery then transitioned back to my original lock screen, which clouded with text messages the moment I was about to shut it off.

_Stan 15min ago  
Text message_

_Craig 17min ago  
Text message_

_Cartman 21min ago  
Text message_

_Token 29min ago  
Text message_

_Tweek 35min ago  
Text message_

_Butters 38min ago  
Text message_

_Kenny 47min ago  
Text message_

_Clyde 53min ago  
Text message_

Everyone that was there sent me a message. I swiped the screen and entered my pass code to unlock my phone. Tapping on the text message app, I scrolled down to Clyde's message and opened it up.

_Prepare your body._

Wait what.

I read it again… And I indeed read it correctly.

Questions filled my mind. Clyde and I aren't really _that _friendly to each other… Well, no one is that friendly with me. What the fuck.

I pressed the back button to return to the rest of the messages, and read Kenny's next.

_Prepare your body._

Same as what Clyde sent.

I went through everyone else's, and they all were the same text; "_Prepare your body."_ Butters added some kissy face emoji, and Cartman's was in all caps. I stared at the screen for a minute or so until it faded to black and I saw my reflection in it. I set my phone back down on the table, and laid flat on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Why would they text me that?  
Do they know if something is going to happen to me?  
And if so, why didn't they just say it when I was about to leave after...

_Confessing my virginity._

Fuck.

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

I walked to school the next day. After the messages I received last night, I agreed with myself that I'm going to try to avoid the guys as much as possible. That's going to be a hard task, I know it. I have every period with at least one of them. I also knew I was going to get sucked into something they're planning. Fuck that game, damn it.

I pulled the entrance door to the school open and jetted down the hallway to my locker. I fumbled with the combination for a second, but after a few tries I managed to unlock it. I threw my bag inside, and took out the things I needed for first period. When I was sure I was ready, I took another deep breath and slammed the locker, then proceeded to English class. I shut my eyes and gradually turned the knob to make my way inside. I tried to keep my cool as I strolled over to my desk, but I could feel their passion filled grins following me every step of the way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings:** Language, slight fluff at the end.

**Authors Note:** Is it just that Style is too mainstream for Kyle's virginity? XD Well then, I guess we'll all find out who the lucky taker is. In time.

**I don't own South Park or any characters used in this story.**

**-(^_^)-**

Try and guess how the day went. _Extremely_ unsettling.

The guys took some peculiar chances walking on very shallow waters. They all sat closer than usual, wanted to assist me with problems I already knew the answer to, and even attempted that casual "friendly" touch on the shoulder. Don't be fooled by the word "shoulder," though. Token tried swinging my whole body into his arms, Butters aimed for some hand holding action the whole time, Cartman was basically hauling me beside him, and Tweek even went as far as feeding me, but jerked a bit and ended up spilling the food all over the table.

It was finally sixth period. I walked in towards my assigned seat in the back of the room. Our desks in this class are in groups, two partners sitting next to each other, then two directly in front of them to have a team of four. Due to our latest seating chart last week, I sit right next to Kenny, with Stan in front of me, and Cartman diagonal; ahead of Kenny. Both groups to the sides of us were the rest of guys, just to add-on to this hell-story.

My pencil glided across the paper as Mr. Garrison went on about some probability question. I was drawing a cake cut up into even slices, so it's not like I wasn't doing the math. To keep it looking like I was paying attention, I glanced up every so often to look at the board, like most of us play it these days. It was about 30 minutes into class when I pulled my head up again and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Kenny staring at me. My eyes trailed leisurely in his direction, looking at him sideways. Kenny had his fingers interlocked precisely and his chin resting on top. Actually, after I scanned his position, the entire top half of his body seemed to be completely angled at me. And then I got a glimpse of his face.

_Oh my god, he was grinning like a fool._

I immediately dropped my head back down to my paper and started sketching again. Not even five seconds later, I felt a tap against my leg. I shifted over to gaze through the crack between me and Kenny's desk, and saw his leg was clearly in _my_ leg area. He then lifted his knee up again to budge it against mine. It's like he was trying to start a footsie game, but with thighs instead of foots.

And goddamn it, can he _please _just wipe that smirk off his face.

"What do you want?" I angrily whispered to Kenny.

His expression remained the same and he puckered his lips. "You, my love."

"For fucking real. What is it, you cockjuggling twat?"

"Hey," Cartman tilted his head back a bit, and slid an arm up to rest on Kenny's desk. "Stop trying to steal my man, Kinny."

I shook my head while scoffing at those words. "I'm not yours either, Cartman."

At that moment, Mr. Garrison's shout echoed from the front of the room. "Kyle, Eric! Pay attention!" And he turned back to the white board, packing it up with more numbers and small diagrams.

Stan leaned a bit back on my desk and his eyes followed over to the other two in the process. "Just give him the note, Cartman. We can claim territory later!"

That statement left me confused and appalled at the same time. "Stan! Wait, what note?"

"About tonight," Cartman answered, tossing a folded up yellow sticky note on my desk. "But you have to wait until after school to open it."

I glanced down at the piece of paper. My lips pursed, and when I stared back up, the guys were already facing forward, like their attention changed in a matter of milliseconds.

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

The bell rang. I managed to be the first to make it from the back of the room to the class door and out to my locker without anyone dragging behind me. The note was in my pocket, and I intended to read it when I returned home.

"Hey, fella!" Butters voice rose up from behind and he placed a hand on my back. "So, what do you think?"

I pulled my bag out of my locker and turned to him, throwing it over my shoulder. "Think about what?" I twisted my body around a bit more, shaking his hand away from me. Across the hallway, I saw the guys watching us closely while mumbling undefinable words to each other. "If it's about the note, I haven't read it yet. I was planning on going home first."

"Oh," Butters gave his signature smile and nodded his head. "That's great! You go on and do that. See you tonight, then!" And he spun around on his heel, shuffling back to the others to spill the information. I took no time to proceed down and out the hallway, and head back to the comfort of my house.

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

When I shut my room door behind me, the sticky note was already in my hand. I stepped over to my bed and set my backpack down beside my feet. I stopped for a few moments at the side of my bed, eyes glued to the note lying in my hand. Before I knew it I was peeling it open and reading the words that were written for my eyes.

_Kyle, 3  
We're meeting at Cartman's house at 6, and it would be stupid to not have you tag along. But of course if you don't come, forever will you be a lonely, un-sex educated, virgin Jew.  
__Stay sexy. –Kenny__  
–The guys_

Just by looking at the note, overt observations could be spotted. The handwriting was decent, so I'm guessing Butters might have written it. Based on the last sentence however, Cartman or Craig was probably the ones to tell him what to put down. It was written in red pen, and the font stays constant until the "stay sexy" part from Kenny, which is where I assume he stole the pen and jotted it down.

This is a trick. Of course, I could just go with my logical gut and slap them tomorrow for calling me a un-sex educated Jew, but then again I could always just hop out the window in Cartman's room if crucial measures were necessary. I guess I _will_ be going to this meet up.

**. . . -(^_^)- . . .**

"_Let me out!_"

It was dark, and super cramped. I didn't even get a complete three sentences out of my mouth before someone grabbed me from behind, and shoved me in one of Cartman's closets. It's been about four minutes now, and when I placed my ear against the door, all I could hear was small chatter off in the far distance. I banged on the door again, entreating aimlessly at someone who could possibly hear me on the other side. No one responded, so I just stepped to the furthest wall in the closet, and slid my back down it until I was sitting. I couldn't even see my shadow, and the outline of my hands and lower body were hazy in my vision too.

Then my ears picked up mutters. They grew more distinct as they traveled closer to the closet door, and in a breath I was sitting upright, ready to bash whoever had the balls to finally let me out.

"G-Guys, we should just drop this! He'll be r-really mad if we actually go through with it!"

Stuttering panic tone. Tweek.

"Or, if _someone _would hurry up and get his ass in the closet, he could take the heat instead of us. And by someone I meant Stan. And by heat I meant the ass kicking he'll most likely give to the first one of us he sees."

Raspy accent, probably Craig. He wasn't wrong, though.

But… Stan?

What is Stan going to do?

In an instant after that, the closet door was thrown open, and I became blinded with the hallway light. I tried to shout and crawl forward, but another body collided with mine and threw me further back into the darkened area. Then I heard the door snap shut again, and the lock click back into place.

"Fuck…" I sighed, pushing the unknown figure from my body. "Who are you?"

"Don't be mad," the other started.

"Maybe if you spill your identity now, I'll choose an easier form of torture than stabbing your limbs off with a pair of heels."

"It's me, Stan!"

"Stan?" I exclaimed, pausing my search on the floor to find some type of shoe. "What the hell, dude? I thought you were on my side with this!"

"I can't help that I won…" his voice trailed off in the darkness.

"Won what? Did you guys literally assign some stupid deal just to see who could get in this restrained , dim box while the oxygen gradually kills itself off with every breath we intake? I'm guessing you have a death wish, Stan."

"6 minutes!" A voice hollered from the opposite side of the door, along with a little smack on it to make sure we were aware of the notification.

I shifted my attention from the door over to where Stan was sitting in the closet and sent him a scowl, even though he couldn't see my expression. "What did they mean six minutes?" I demanded.

"Look, Kyle, let me explain. We did a rock, paper, scissors tournament to see who would come in the closet with you. Seven minutes in heaven, you know? I didn't try to win, I swear."

I placed my hands on the floor and pushed myself up. When on my feet, I stumbled over to the door and hit it with solid blows. I was about to add shouting to my actions before Stan grabbed my other wrist and pulled me back down. I landed straddling him, and I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks as I stared down at his eyes, which appeared blurred in the dull light with everything else.

"Kyle," he started, "we have six minutes. Let's make them count."


End file.
